Thinking of Thinking

I think the right age for a person like me to fall in love and to be love is 18 years of age. hitting the legal age. I never had a chance to fall in love at that age and up to now. Maybe i’m too manly or secretly hide my real self to other people. That’s a shallow reason i got.

Back in college, I was never attached to any collegues i met. Even some of them are handsome and good gentlemen. I know they are gay just like me. At the time college love-relationship was never part in my curriculum. Might be Im just a casual nerd at that time. Just hanging around in library, instead in university gym or in laboratory, instead in hallways or big field. I must say i have a good eye spotting my crushes in the campus but i dont dare to flirt to anyone of them. nor stalking and hang arountd to their spot place every weekend. Maybe im just being a hopeless romantic at that time.

Chances at that time, I have a slight experience or feeling of being special to someone. yet, It only ended up to be a good friendship, not what i was expected. hahaha! I feel that as was not made to love but to be a friend to everone. The scenarion goes like this; when someone curting me, my feelings just turn away and we ended like to be friends. When the time there is proposal, i’ll just turn down it. (im not bitter). I have many alibis and worries to explain. Im so sorry to them, and Im so so sorry for myself. the chance never come back again.

Now that im working already, It change all, i have no time to fall in love. maybe im too hook in my career. I dont even bother give chance to a suitor to have date with me. (no, im not bitter) My mind change constantly. The reason I have is they will just play around with me. I also dislike cheesiness (corny).

I was  not and never a CHOSSY guy. That happens because i value friendship than engaging in relationship. 

Im telling you guys ”I’m not stone-hearted person”. I’m just waiting a right guy (perhaps he is my prince charming)

This entry was posted on Monday, January 11th, 2010 at 5:27 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.